Oof.

These early mornings to and at work are great, but sometimes they drag and they by definition require me to get up early, which is Just Not Natural. Siiiiiigh. But at the end of that long, very tired sigh there is delight and there is glee and there are all manner of nice things, because tomorrow is a day off! And our anniversary. Good things tomorrow.

In the meantime I need to clean-- mom is visiting this weekend and our apartment is going to be shown tomorrow since we gave notice and the office wants to rent the place. I wish we could do a two bedroom here, but being closer to the city will be nice. The place we're seriously considering looks good online. Need to find it on some apartment ratings websites and see what people say, and see it in person. It's not my favorite of the places I found online but it was one I liked well enough to send to Josh, and it makes me happy that he seems to like it. Hard to discern through his quiet, sometimes.

This is our third anniversary, which in a way is great because hey: anniversary! Three years! And this is the first time we've gotten to be together to celebrate it in a significant way. It also makes me sad that it's only been three years since we've known each other so much longer than that, and the waiting to be living in the same place made it seem like a crazy long wait that should at least have netted us more calendrical bragging rights, yeah? Regardless. I'm happy to be with him, happy whenever we work things out when things make one or both of us unhappy, and when I get scared about the future I can generally calm myself down about it since he's so trustworthy. I wish I was more confident in his feelings for me, but that's par for the course in my relationship with everyone I know. And sometimes he is so good I just want to cry in relief. Usually because he is making some awful situation infinitely better just by stroking my hair and telling me he loves me and that things are okay. I love the days when we get a little punchdrunk and laugh and laugh and laugh. Sometimes he inadvertently hurts my feelings, but he never makes me feel stupid for being silly with him. And I like that security a lot.

So, mom's going to be here this weekend! I can't believe the first weekend of May has gotten so far away from now. I'm telling you, calendars are bullshit. Never lending enough credit and always too fast or slow when you want the opposite. I need to spiff the place up and do some laundry. My mom is not a crazy investigative "WHAT IS THIS FUZZY FRIDGE THING?!" type of guest as far as I can tell, but to be honest I have never hosted her. For dinner yes, but not to stay overnight. I really, really wish my dad was coming with her, because I keep seeing things that make me think of and miss my dad, but I'm also really glad she is coming, because I love this place and I want to show it to the people that matter to me.

Thankfully Josh is already here, probably with more than his fill of the place. He's so tolerant of my crazy. I love that man and I know he loves me. And soon we'll have a two bedroom apartment and people can stay over without sleeping on the couch!