One more thing. I added some information to my blogger profile, and one of the fields for that page offers you a random question. Unfortunately it only allows 400 characters for you to answer.
I got something more like instructions: Write new national anthem lyrics that include animal sounds.
I wrote a new song for Florida. That's what you get for telling me what to do instead of asking me a question, blogger.
Oh noble Florida
Oh noble humida
land of rain and stickiness
and no uncertain degree of craziness.
Tourist capitol, Florida
tourist capital, Florida
Every plane a Mickey Mouse Express
Every car drive a dangerous test
Alligators bark at night
Frogs sing in rural moonlight
panhandlers shuffle in the city
Metropolises so dirty pretty
Crazy throughout the everglades
Crazy because there's little shade
crazy because our shores are teeming
with rich northerners retiree-ing.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Month Without Meat: Day 3
No meat: ding ding ding ding ding! :D
This was my first day waking up and going to sleep in Wisconsin, a situation I very much desire to make permanent as soon as possible (which is to say as soon after UCF graduation as possible). I love being with Josh. And as I've mentioned, he's fine with my making us dinners without meat, and has volunteered to make one himself. But that will probably happen this weekend, so I made us omelettes before my hardworkin' man had to get to work (onion for him, rosemary and pepper for me).
Spent the time after breakfast (I went back to bed before I made mine, so it was more like brunch) cleaning up the apartment and then made the rest of the couscous I purchased here last month. Josh wasn't a big fan, so I wanted to use it up, and hey, couscous is easy and quick. So I had some couscous and tomato slices, cleaned some more, got myself cleaned up, and headed out to get a few things from Copps.
Surprised Josh on his second bus home. It's HARD to surprise him and he liked it, so I was very pleased with myself. We had a dish I've made for us before as our dinner, just without meat (cucumber mint tomato basil salad served with sauce-topped brown rice). Made a sour cream, rosemary, and pepper sauce for myself and a jazzed up Italian dressing one for Josh.
Probably the best nutrition day so far, especially as far as dinner is concerned.
This was my first day waking up and going to sleep in Wisconsin, a situation I very much desire to make permanent as soon as possible (which is to say as soon after UCF graduation as possible). I love being with Josh. And as I've mentioned, he's fine with my making us dinners without meat, and has volunteered to make one himself. But that will probably happen this weekend, so I made us omelettes before my hardworkin' man had to get to work (onion for him, rosemary and pepper for me).
Spent the time after breakfast (I went back to bed before I made mine, so it was more like brunch) cleaning up the apartment and then made the rest of the couscous I purchased here last month. Josh wasn't a big fan, so I wanted to use it up, and hey, couscous is easy and quick. So I had some couscous and tomato slices, cleaned some more, got myself cleaned up, and headed out to get a few things from Copps.
Surprised Josh on his second bus home. It's HARD to surprise him and he liked it, so I was very pleased with myself. We had a dish I've made for us before as our dinner, just without meat (cucumber mint tomato basil salad served with sauce-topped brown rice). Made a sour cream, rosemary, and pepper sauce for myself and a jazzed up Italian dressing one for Josh.
Probably the best nutrition day so far, especially as far as dinner is concerned.
Other changes
Bit of a side: this is really a "try things!" year. I've had a terrible, zit covered face for most of my life and I think I've found a lifestyle and a cleanser that are making remarkable changes for the better to that situation*. I've gone without make up for the past several days (two weeks, I think?), and it's still scary every time I step out of the house knowing that people will see me. Josh has assured me that he loves me just fine without make up and says he prefers it that way, but I had a very hard time believing that as he's very, very rarely seen me without it. On purpose or not, though, the first thing he said when he saw me at the airport was "You look nice." That may have had something to do with my running down the stairs to get to him-- my self confidence issues are pretty minimal in the chest department, and that's the only thing minimal in my chest department, if you know what I'm saying.
But I'll admit it: I care what other people think. I don't care for very long, but the part of stepping out of the house that's scary is the waiting for someone to call attention to my face. I know high school is some degree of hellish for everyone, but even wearing make up (not very well, but still, wearing it) I'd get to hear the "Acne... ACNE--!" whispers as some jerkass followed me through the halls. I can't shake that or the other things said, years later. I immediately mistrust people I don't know who tell me I'm pretty. Of course I want to hear that, but they have no idea the depth of my longing for that, and I'm certain they're trying to butter up my surface before they ask for something. People who make fun of other people for something like acne or bad hair, anything people can be tearfully sensitive about, are jerks, and I think everyone that's important to me thinks the same. I still expect to be made fun of.
At the same time, progress. Because I'm not wearing make up and haven't for several days. And I know all this angst is a first world issue, but that's where I live.
*Lush's Coalface. Get it. GET IT.
But I'll admit it: I care what other people think. I don't care for very long, but the part of stepping out of the house that's scary is the waiting for someone to call attention to my face. I know high school is some degree of hellish for everyone, but even wearing make up (not very well, but still, wearing it) I'd get to hear the "Acne... ACNE--!" whispers as some jerkass followed me through the halls. I can't shake that or the other things said, years later. I immediately mistrust people I don't know who tell me I'm pretty. Of course I want to hear that, but they have no idea the depth of my longing for that, and I'm certain they're trying to butter up my surface before they ask for something. People who make fun of other people for something like acne or bad hair, anything people can be tearfully sensitive about, are jerks, and I think everyone that's important to me thinks the same. I still expect to be made fun of.
At the same time, progress. Because I'm not wearing make up and haven't for several days. And I know all this angst is a first world issue, but that's where I live.
*Lush's Coalface. Get it. GET IT.
Month Without Meat: Day 2
No meat: check!
Cheerios for breakfast on the way to school with a travel mug of orange juice. I think we need to give the Simply line of juices to people who are addicted to less healthy things. They'd certainly have better hair. And those beverages are no less addictive.
Juices in general note: I love cranberry and cranberry apple, Newman's Own grape juice, and Simply Orange's... Orange juice, shockingly enough. All of these are a-ok in my book. The last two are also crazy high in sugar. I'm hoping it's just because grapes and oranges are sweet fruit, but damn. Almost 40 grams a glass. WTF, supposedly healthy drinking? Healthy in that context NOT supposed to be leading to diabeetus.
Anyway. Cheerios, a small veggie sandwich, and some couscous with peas before I left the house to go to the airport (are you thinking about patronizing the Lynx system to do this, as I thought about it? Don't.) and fly to Wisconsin, where I type this now, two days later. Today was meatless (yay!), and a bit of an improvement nutrition-wise, though there's certainly room for improvement.
Cheerios for breakfast on the way to school with a travel mug of orange juice. I think we need to give the Simply line of juices to people who are addicted to less healthy things. They'd certainly have better hair. And those beverages are no less addictive.
Juices in general note: I love cranberry and cranberry apple, Newman's Own grape juice, and Simply Orange's... Orange juice, shockingly enough. All of these are a-ok in my book. The last two are also crazy high in sugar. I'm hoping it's just because grapes and oranges are sweet fruit, but damn. Almost 40 grams a glass. WTF, supposedly healthy drinking? Healthy in that context NOT supposed to be leading to diabeetus.
Anyway. Cheerios, a small veggie sandwich, and some couscous with peas before I left the house to go to the airport (are you thinking about patronizing the Lynx system to do this, as I thought about it? Don't.) and fly to Wisconsin, where I type this now, two days later. Today was meatless (yay!), and a bit of an improvement nutrition-wise, though there's certainly room for improvement.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Month Without Meat: Day 1
So today was a little challenging because I've got a cold, and when I've got a cold what I want is salty spicy chicken noodle soup with thick egg noodles. I knew I was getting a cold last night; I'm just hoping it goes away by tomorrow night, when I'll be snuggling with the love of my life on the couch.
But I did not eat meat today! I had a big handful of fruit and nut mix for breakfast minus the cranberries (blech). I wanted to just skip lunch and make a big dinner but my body demanded feeding around midday, so I got a flatbread wrap from Subway (downstairs at work; score!) with egg, bell peppers, tomato, and black olives. Because the latter in particular are a fatty, delicious comfort food. Sliced and ate a cucumber while I watched Jeopardy! and had a bowl full of peas.
Today was not necessarily a win for nutrition, so I'm going to have to be better about that tomorrow. I'll be able to make a decent breakfast in the morning (Honey Nut Cheerios + a peach I need to eat), and have a minestrone lunch before I leave for the airport. I'm low on funds and don't want to have to shell out for an airport dinner, so I'll try to make lunch really substantial.
But I did not eat meat today! I had a big handful of fruit and nut mix for breakfast minus the cranberries (blech). I wanted to just skip lunch and make a big dinner but my body demanded feeding around midday, so I got a flatbread wrap from Subway (downstairs at work; score!) with egg, bell peppers, tomato, and black olives. Because the latter in particular are a fatty, delicious comfort food. Sliced and ate a cucumber while I watched Jeopardy! and had a bowl full of peas.
Today was not necessarily a win for nutrition, so I'm going to have to be better about that tomorrow. I'll be able to make a decent breakfast in the morning (Honey Nut Cheerios + a peach I need to eat), and have a minestrone lunch before I leave for the airport. I'm low on funds and don't want to have to shell out for an airport dinner, so I'll try to make lunch really substantial.
Month Without Meat: Rules
I'm at home, which is probably a good way to start a project like this. I think typing out the guidelines I have in mind is a good idea. I'm doing this primarily because I can't stand the idea of animals being slaughtered. I know that eating meat contributes to that and that an animal (that I believe could feel fear) was killed sometime shortly before I buy its meat at the grocery store or restaurant. It makes me extremely unhappy and queasy. I grew up eating like an omnivore and I like eating steak just fine. But I can't have it in good conscience at this point. Everyone else in the world is free to make their own decisions, and I don't want to give anyone grief about their choice. This is mine.
This is also purely a test. I want to see if going without meat is painful or very difficult. I want to see if I can do something deliberately different for a whole month. I'd love to eat less meat. It's hard to imagine never eating it again, but maybe that's what this month will be the start of.
As I've mentioned this meatless month project to friends who are vegetarians to varying degrees-- there's a lot of alliteration going on; meatless month, varying vegetarians-- several have told me that there are immediate and long term health benefits, in particular from not eating beef. I haven't had the heart to look for that information since I was so scared by what I read about slaughterhouses, but I'm inclined to believe these people.
So, my rules for Meatless Month:
1) No meat. No beef, no pork, no poultry, no fish, no crab rangoon. Not even Krab rangoon, since that's made of fish.
2) I will only eat the cage free ones from the grocery store, and I will try to find a local provider of free range eggs. Having raised and kept chickens with my mom, I feel okay making the call that to me, eggs are not meat.
3) Milk, creams, cheeses, honey, and butter are okay. These might not be the healthiest choices, but I see them as products of animal life at human hands, not death (like gelatin).
4) Even if I start craving meat on day 2, I am not going to "celebrate" with a hamburger at the end of it all.
5) If Josh and I split a pizza and he gets pepperoni on his half, no big deal. He's said that he'd like to make us a vegetarian meal while I'm up there this weekend, though. Even asked his mom for recipe ideas! :} I love him. I'm making (and eating) tofu for the first time.
6) With my next paycheck I will get sissy gummy vitamins (since I know I will not take capsule ones) and dose appropriately.
7) Meatless month starts today, September 14. It ends Thursday October 14.
This is also purely a test. I want to see if going without meat is painful or very difficult. I want to see if I can do something deliberately different for a whole month. I'd love to eat less meat. It's hard to imagine never eating it again, but maybe that's what this month will be the start of.
As I've mentioned this meatless month project to friends who are vegetarians to varying degrees-- there's a lot of alliteration going on; meatless month, varying vegetarians-- several have told me that there are immediate and long term health benefits, in particular from not eating beef. I haven't had the heart to look for that information since I was so scared by what I read about slaughterhouses, but I'm inclined to believe these people.
So, my rules for Meatless Month:
1) No meat. No beef, no pork, no poultry, no fish, no crab rangoon. Not even Krab rangoon, since that's made of fish.
2) I will only eat the cage free ones from the grocery store, and I will try to find a local provider of free range eggs. Having raised and kept chickens with my mom, I feel okay making the call that to me, eggs are not meat.
3) Milk, creams, cheeses, honey, and butter are okay. These might not be the healthiest choices, but I see them as products of animal life at human hands, not death (like gelatin).
4) Even if I start craving meat on day 2, I am not going to "celebrate" with a hamburger at the end of it all.
5) If Josh and I split a pizza and he gets pepperoni on his half, no big deal. He's said that he'd like to make us a vegetarian meal while I'm up there this weekend, though. Even asked his mom for recipe ideas! :} I love him. I'm making (and eating) tofu for the first time.
6) With my next paycheck I will get sissy gummy vitamins (since I know I will not take capsule ones) and dose appropriately.
7) Meatless month starts today, September 14. It ends Thursday October 14.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Plans and Plants
Josh got to and from PAX just fine and in general I feel twitlike for kirking out over what seems like nothing in hindsight. That weekend was kind of painful and reinforced that we need to talk about a few things, but everything seems pretty spiffy at the moment except that he's thousands of miles away. That part's kind of a drag.
I went out with my friend Hannah for our second Super Shopping Saturday adventure. It was a lot of fun, and I'm glad it wasn't just a one time thing. We were both working off a pretty limited budget, but I think we were okay. Just a few things each. I did find sunglasses for the cruise next month and found out that if I order the athletic/amphibious shoes I want to get from Payless I can have them shipped to the store for free. That's a big yay. I also found a hat! It was way out of my budget this trip, but I hope we'll go back for another shopping day in a few weeks and I can snag it then.
My plan was to go and make dinner for my parents tonight. They're far from infirm, thank god, but I told mom about a recipe I'm proud of, she said it sounded good, and I offered to make it. They're not being particularly quiet about how they feel slighted by never seeing me, so it seemed like a nice olive branch. Mmm, olives. But mom's down with a migraine today, so we're going to do it tomorrow. Cocktails & Cosmos is going on at work, and I'd like to go to one someday, but since I have the night unexpectedly free I'll probably just play DS for most of it. The Aunts offered to get a third ticket so I could go see Wanda Sykes with them last night and I declined since I was planning to be with my parents-- I could definitely make myself get up and at 'em/it for that, but it doesn't feel right to ask for something like that.
It doesn't feel right for me to ask for a lot of things, and sometimes that extends to (hopefully politely) saying no when someone's offered something, even something I'd like. I think it's in part because sometimes I offer (and truly I'm on the other side of a time when I usually offered) when I'm really not in the best position to be offering, and I worry that other people might do that as well. I know I can't control what they do, but I don't want them to feel trapped in the way that I did at times, even by people I loved, who I hope loved me. It's a sticky wicket. God, "sticky wicket" sounds dirty.
In Wisconsin next week! A short trip just to get in some time with my favorite man. He was very lovely via text message yesterday night when he was coming home from work, and says he wants to come up with something meatless to make for me to eat. I'm going to try that for a month starting Tuesday: we'll see. I'd start Monday but I'm going to have a breakfast-as-dinner with his parents that night, and bacon's going to be on my plate, and as much as I realize I'm compromising the ethics that make me not want to eat meat by delaying it until after I've gotten to have bacon, it's the way it works for me. Not sure if this will lead to a permanent transition; I wouldn't mind if it did, but it would involve some creativity menuwise, and I'd imagine some superstrict budget control to make sure I could afford to eat. It would be fun to blog about the adventure, so maybe that will be a prompt for daily entries. "Here's my month of ______, followed by my month of _____!"
"Lord love a duck," as my dad would say.
I went out with my friend Hannah for our second Super Shopping Saturday adventure. It was a lot of fun, and I'm glad it wasn't just a one time thing. We were both working off a pretty limited budget, but I think we were okay. Just a few things each. I did find sunglasses for the cruise next month and found out that if I order the athletic/amphibious shoes I want to get from Payless I can have them shipped to the store for free. That's a big yay. I also found a hat! It was way out of my budget this trip, but I hope we'll go back for another shopping day in a few weeks and I can snag it then.
My plan was to go and make dinner for my parents tonight. They're far from infirm, thank god, but I told mom about a recipe I'm proud of, she said it sounded good, and I offered to make it. They're not being particularly quiet about how they feel slighted by never seeing me, so it seemed like a nice olive branch. Mmm, olives. But mom's down with a migraine today, so we're going to do it tomorrow. Cocktails & Cosmos is going on at work, and I'd like to go to one someday, but since I have the night unexpectedly free I'll probably just play DS for most of it. The Aunts offered to get a third ticket so I could go see Wanda Sykes with them last night and I declined since I was planning to be with my parents-- I could definitely make myself get up and at 'em/it for that, but it doesn't feel right to ask for something like that.
It doesn't feel right for me to ask for a lot of things, and sometimes that extends to (hopefully politely) saying no when someone's offered something, even something I'd like. I think it's in part because sometimes I offer (and truly I'm on the other side of a time when I usually offered) when I'm really not in the best position to be offering, and I worry that other people might do that as well. I know I can't control what they do, but I don't want them to feel trapped in the way that I did at times, even by people I loved, who I hope loved me. It's a sticky wicket. God, "sticky wicket" sounds dirty.
In Wisconsin next week! A short trip just to get in some time with my favorite man. He was very lovely via text message yesterday night when he was coming home from work, and says he wants to come up with something meatless to make for me to eat. I'm going to try that for a month starting Tuesday: we'll see. I'd start Monday but I'm going to have a breakfast-as-dinner with his parents that night, and bacon's going to be on my plate, and as much as I realize I'm compromising the ethics that make me not want to eat meat by delaying it until after I've gotten to have bacon, it's the way it works for me. Not sure if this will lead to a permanent transition; I wouldn't mind if it did, but it would involve some creativity menuwise, and I'd imagine some superstrict budget control to make sure I could afford to eat. It would be fun to blog about the adventure, so maybe that will be a prompt for daily entries. "Here's my month of ______, followed by my month of _____!"
"Lord love a duck," as my dad would say.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
At the moment
My stomach is doing somersaults. I'm not on a boat. I'm worried about my boyfriend flying to PAX.
I'm just within the last few minutes (hopefully) over him participating in the expo... This is perfect for him and I want him to go, I want him to have a great time, I want him to get to geek out. I just don't want him to see any other women who like the things he does, and I know they'll be there. :/
I know that's stupid and insecure, but when it comes to Josh I can be pretty stupid and insecure. I hope it's a side effect of the long distance thing. When I found out how good looking a particular corps of the people at Epic (where he works) are, I had a similar, though less extensive, freak out. I'd resent it if someone were constantly possessive of me, and I don't want to be that sort of person myself. I just, you know, want there to be a sex segregated PAX.
...I don't want that. I talked to Josh a bit and I'm sure I'm okay with it as I can be: I don't think he's going to fall in love or too deeply in lust with some good looking and well chested gamer girl. Hopefully not at all, but I know they'll be there and I know he'll see them. There will be no sleeping with or kissing of these girls. I'm as sure of that as I can be.
Not really sure how I trust Josh and am still so, so scared that something like that could happen. I know the trust is there that he would never seek something like that out-- 100% sure of that. I guess my fear is that someone will aggressively offer herself to him. I'd expect him to refuse, I'd want him to refuse, but I'd be deeply, deeply hurt if he didn't. And really, looking back on how we got started, I sort of aggressively offered myself to Josh. Maybe that's just a part of the worry or the basis of it all.
Regardless, we talked about it a bit and I'm as relaxed about it as I'm gonna get. So right now I'm just worried that he's on a plane going farther away and it's dark. The man's flown to Japan and back three times and my worry level was elevated, let's say yellow, maybe, but not exactly the "good jesus and saltines, pilot, you better get my boyfriend there safe" one-sided routine I'm running at the moment.
Maybe it's a little dangerous to put so much of myself in my love for another person. It doesn't seem like what I expected of myself for most of my life. I have no intention of not doing it, but sometimes when I get scared I'm reminded that it doesn't seem very reserved to, well, not reserve very much. It makes me so happy to make Josh happy, though. I don't think I quite have domestic housefrau bliss, but cooking for us, rubbing his neck, sitting close to him on the couch while we watch movies, those things all make me really happy.
So he'd better make it to and back from Seattle in one live, happy piece, United.
I'm just within the last few minutes (hopefully) over him participating in the expo... This is perfect for him and I want him to go, I want him to have a great time, I want him to get to geek out. I just don't want him to see any other women who like the things he does, and I know they'll be there. :/
I know that's stupid and insecure, but when it comes to Josh I can be pretty stupid and insecure. I hope it's a side effect of the long distance thing. When I found out how good looking a particular corps of the people at Epic (where he works) are, I had a similar, though less extensive, freak out. I'd resent it if someone were constantly possessive of me, and I don't want to be that sort of person myself. I just, you know, want there to be a sex segregated PAX.
...I don't want that. I talked to Josh a bit and I'm sure I'm okay with it as I can be: I don't think he's going to fall in love or too deeply in lust with some good looking and well chested gamer girl. Hopefully not at all, but I know they'll be there and I know he'll see them. There will be no sleeping with or kissing of these girls. I'm as sure of that as I can be.
Not really sure how I trust Josh and am still so, so scared that something like that could happen. I know the trust is there that he would never seek something like that out-- 100% sure of that. I guess my fear is that someone will aggressively offer herself to him. I'd expect him to refuse, I'd want him to refuse, but I'd be deeply, deeply hurt if he didn't. And really, looking back on how we got started, I sort of aggressively offered myself to Josh. Maybe that's just a part of the worry or the basis of it all.
Regardless, we talked about it a bit and I'm as relaxed about it as I'm gonna get. So right now I'm just worried that he's on a plane going farther away and it's dark. The man's flown to Japan and back three times and my worry level was elevated, let's say yellow, maybe, but not exactly the "good jesus and saltines, pilot, you better get my boyfriend there safe" one-sided routine I'm running at the moment.
Maybe it's a little dangerous to put so much of myself in my love for another person. It doesn't seem like what I expected of myself for most of my life. I have no intention of not doing it, but sometimes when I get scared I'm reminded that it doesn't seem very reserved to, well, not reserve very much. It makes me so happy to make Josh happy, though. I don't think I quite have domestic housefrau bliss, but cooking for us, rubbing his neck, sitting close to him on the couch while we watch movies, those things all make me really happy.
So he'd better make it to and back from Seattle in one live, happy piece, United.
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