A few years ago I married a man I didn't really want to marry. I wore the most beautiful dress in the world to do it, and as I look at websites now that I am in the market for another dress to wear when I marry the man I really, really want to marry, I occasionally see that first dress. And oh, I feel the weight of my mistake, I do and I have, but this has got to be one of the stupidest first world ways a girl ever screwed herself: the most beautiful dress in the world squandered on a wedding that didn't matter the way it was supposed to.
Fuuuuuuuck.
(I know I will find a more beautiful dress and I know I will be more beautiful and truly happy when I marry Josh. But och aye christ I wish I could have found that beautiful Oleg Cassini to wear for our wedding.)
(Resolving not to fuck up further.)
(Also resolving to cut back on the foul language.)
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