Tuesday, June 22, 2010

A bit confused where I did not expect to be.

J'adore Lady Gaga.

Just saw the Alejandro video.

...What the fuck? I don't object to the imagery at all, but... What the hell does all that mean? I'm feeling a bit stupid for not getting it, but I don't think I do, at all. I love the story she told with Telephone, and Alejandro is very, very stylish, but there's no connect for me; I feel like I missed an important scene that would have connected things for me. I don't really resent it, I'm just not left with a feeling that the intent is for a viewer to draw their own conclusions. Am I just lazy, am I too stupid to pick up on it? That's a weary place to find yourself.

My Mesoamerican Archaeology final is tomorrow. I've done some studying. Promise. Tonight there will be more. I took a break to watch Jeopardy! and then go for a double loop around the Lake Underhill trail earlier, so I think I'm going to clean up and then it's back to Mexico, Belize, and Guatemala.

A visit!

Josh was here over the weekend, and spending time with him is the highlight of my life, so I'd say that's blogworthy.

His sister got married in a very nice, pretty but not fussy ceremony and I relinquished all the hate I learned for the wedding coordinator at the rehearsal dinner when I found out she did the screaming at Publix to get the cake so Josh and Amanda's mom didn't have to the day of the wedding. I always thought that position was best suited to someone of quiet elegance but I think to get things done perhaps a little danger shrew is beneficial. Anyway, cake get. Amanda didn't really care too much about flowers beyond having them as necessary-- bouquets, boutineers, corsages-- but her bridal bouquet was beautiful, really lush lilac and white roses and freesia. I'm a flower nut, so I think between myself and the other women at the wedding every detail was appreciated fully. Her dress was elegant, and everyone looked quite nice. Friends of mine were married at The Lakeside Inn a few years ago at the little gazebo but Amanda and Tim chose to get married under this triad of oak trees; I think I prefer the trees. Thank you for calling Lorax Weddings, how may I help you?

Amanda's always been nice to me, so I got a horrible stab of guilt immediately after the horrible stab of jealousy over how beautiful she looked. Successfully let all that go and was happy for her and her new husband for the rest of the night. They really did look delighted to be married and with one another in general, and that's very touching. They did not squoosh cake in each others faces, so I continue to wish them the very best. Josh and I agreed: we wish for them happiness, lives free from fear, and conveniently-timed fertility should they so desire it.

Josh was here, and even a wedding couldn't distract my hormones from that. Love him love him love that man. This was the first time he's been back since he started work in Wisconsin in January, and he stayed with me at the new place in Orlando, which as all kinds of magnificent. We spent some time with a friend of his I'd met only very briefly before (this after enduring an anxiety-causing downtown parking lot; I love hippie stuff but I hate the goddamned cramped parking that seems to accompany every hippie place I ever visit) and his girlfriend. Went over well. Went to SAK after the rehearsal dinner and that was fun.

Looked cute at the wedding. Josh's family are the kind of people who don't seem to take bad photographs unless you catch them in motion, you know? And then they're just blurry. Whereas in my case, I need to be the focus of the photographer or I'll be looking away or have my chin tucked down on my chest or be standing in an incredibly unflattering way. Oy. I felt cute, anyway. Hopefully someone got a nice photo of Josh and I, because he looked amazing.

Sunday night at the airport Delta was less than helpful, but eventually (the next morning, after a stop in Detroit) Josh got home. I cried like a whelky crying thing when we said goodbye. I think the sweetness of the weekend and discussion of weddings and how nice it is to be with him was too much to let go of without tears. But we did get to talk after we were both home last night, and he'll be back in a month for another weekend and then I'll be there, and we talked about what to do apartmentwise in a year. These are good things.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Let's set the tone, shall we?

in time of daffodils(who know
the goal of living is to grow)
forgetting why,remember how

in time of lilacs who proclaim
the aim of waking is to dream,
remember so(forgetting seem)

in time of roses(who amaze
our now and here with paradise)
forgetting if,remember yes

in time of all sweet things beyond
whatever mind may comprehend,
remember seek(forgetting find)

and in a mystery to be
(when time from time shall set us free)
forgetting me,remember me

--e.e cummings